Your Honor, Judge McDonald, my name is Ramona McCawley, Precious Jessica Noel McCawley’s, mama, and on behalf of our Precious Jessica Noel, Gary Sr., Jessica’s father, Gary Jr., Jessica’s brother, Lisa and Jenifer, Jessica’s sisters, family and friends, and myself we thank you for the opportunity to share our thoughts and feelings. But most importantly, this statement is written and read to be the VOICE for our beloved Precious Jessica Noël. Writing this statement is indeed the hardest thing I have ever written, writing through my tears, sadness, shattered heart and loneliness for our Precious Jessica Noel, and knowing there are not words adequate enough to describe our Precious Jessica Noel, the impact on family, friends, and the community. Although distraught with overwhelming grief for Our Precious Jessica we hope to make not only a positive impact to keep our family, friends and Community safe from Lamont Roberts, but to anyone who listens to these words to PLEASE Do Not Drink and Drive. If you are a friend to someone with an intoxicated person, Please see them safely home to their loving families.

My understanding is Our Victim Impact Statement will provide a view on the impact this horrific, needless, heinous murder of our beloved Jessica Noel has caused. This is our opportunity for Our Precious Jessica, the true victim, and us her family the Victims here, not Lamont Roberts, the murderer to finally have a chance to exercise our Rights (which were virtually stripped from us during the trial. (You can’t wear pictures, because the jury can not see that our baby girl was a vibrant beautiful, living human being, you can’t get emotional, and please NOOO do not do anything that may prejudice the jury towards the Murderers, yet your daughter’s reputation can be demoralized and shredded to pieces and all rights can be stripped from her, and all the rights are given to the murderers). So please let me explain in order for me to survive those hellacious days of the trial I had to turn to my anger and hatred for those monsters to sustain me through yet another nightmare. You see we live in HELL and misery each and every day without our Precious Jessica, and the torment of the trial has only increased our anguish. Our lives have suffered so much, too much, each and every day we live with shattered hearts and the pain and anguish of missing our Precious Jessica Noel becomes more unbearable each minute, each hour, each day.

I would like to read a poem written for our Precious Jessica Noel by her dear baby sister, Jenifer in October when Our Precious Jessica Noel was murdered. You see, Jenifer (who even though there is an age difference had a twin sister relationship with our Precious Jessica Noel) captured and put into words the many emotions and feelings we have and will forever live with. Today, we are still Broken and forever will be.




Broken
It’s like pieces of a puzzle all scattered about
My emotions are twisted; my mind and body try to shout
For some kind of reassurance that’s what I’m trying to find cuz now that you’re gone I’m broken inside
It’s like my heart was broken in half and I’m not sure anymore if I should smile or if I should laugh
I’m broken inside to know you’re in a better place I can’t see your face
I’m broken inside to know you were taken so young and in your future there’s so much you could of become
I’m broken inside because I loved you so much and no more will I get to embrace your touch
I’m broken inside not to know when we’ll be together again
But I keep it together because one thing I do know is we’ll be together in the end
The murder of our Precious Jessica Noel has touched many lives outside the scope of friends and family. So before I begin with the impact of the unbearable, heart wrenching loss of Our Precious Jessica to our family, I’d like to bring to your attention that the community has also been impacted and robbed of a beautiful, loving, caring, sharing young lady. Our Precious Jessica Noel was a full time student at Jefferson Community College and worked at Mr. Lou’s Country Kitchen, where she had worked for three years bringing smiles and laughter to the many patrons of Mr. Lou’s (One customer told me Jessica is like her own granddaughter and she loves her dearly). Many patrons of Mr. Lou’s were present at Our Precious Jessica’s services. Our Precious Jessica was working towards an Associate Degree in Industrial Technology. After achieving this goal Our Precious Jessica Noel had plans to enter the University of Louisville and pursue a degree in teaching. Our Precious Jessica Noel has an insatiable love for children and learning. What an amazing teacher and how fortunate her students would be to have such a dedicated and inspiring teacher. Our Precious Jessica Noel would have been a teacher who would impart her students with a desire to learn, reach for, and achieve their goals. Our Precious Jessica has the most wonderful heart of gold, Jessica could only look for and see the good in everyone she met (which is a beautiful trait – it so also dangerous to be so trusting). Our Precious Jessica lights up any room with her enchanting smile, and her contagious laughter. Our Precious Jessica Noel treated all people regardless of race or ethnic background the same not knowing prejudice and never meeting a stranger.
Unlike, Roberts our Precious Jessica Noel was a successful contributing member of society and had much more to give to the community.
The loss of our Precious Jessica is so unbearable for all of us. Before our Precious Jessica was stolen from of us by this heinous act of murder, I could expect a daily telephone call at work at&t (formerly BellSouth) between 10 A.M. and 2:00 P. M. My Precious Jessica would call me each day and say “Hi, Momma, how’s your day going?” I’d reply “I’m having a good day, how is your day?” To which, Our Precious Jessica would reply, fine, I’m just getting ready for school (or on Friday’s ready for work).” I would reply “well I’ve got to get some work done,” and my Precious Jessica would reply “Well, I just called to tell you to have a good day and I love you Mama.” And I would respond “you have a good day and I love you too, see you tonight baby.” Each day I would look at my phone waiting for my special telephone call from My Precious Jessica. When the phone would ring my already shattered heart just shattered into more stabbing shards. I had to fight back so many tears because the call was not from my Precious baby girl, but a customer needing assistance. Upon returning to work I experienced so many hardships causing me to be unable to handle my career responsibilities. To name a few hardships I experienced and continue to experience; grief, severe depression, inability to concentrate, isolation, very hard to talk on the telephone, crying spells. I sought professional help and was placed on Short Term Disability in March 07. In February 08, I was advised downsizing was taking place, and I was severed from the company. I have never been one to rely on medication and now I am unable to face each day without Depression, Anti-anxiety, and Sleep prescriptions. As a mother each time my children leave the house (younger and present), I was always concerned for their safety. Now I am paranoid, I have so many fears another drunk driver will steal my children from me. I am not now, nor will I ever be the mother, wife, person I was before the Hellish day of October 21, 2006. When my baby girl did not come home October 21, 2006, I began sleeping on the couch. I continue to sleep on the couch, because when my children are away from home I would lay on the couch until they come in and kiss me and let me know they are home safe. I keep sleeping on the couch because I continue to wait for my Precious Baby Girl to plant one of her tender kisses on my brow and let me know she is safe and home. I can not face going to bed without my nightly kiss from my Precious Jessica Noel, nor can I give up hope that we are caught in an unending nightmare, and one day God will wake us up. To keep what sanity I have, I have to think of this as a nightmare and my baby girl is on vacation and will come home to me any day now. I hold so many of my tears inside so as not to upset everyone around me so each day I silently cry when I am with family. When I have my alone time then I can openly cry and cry without causing concern to those close to me. The passing of each day gets harder missing my Precious Jessica Noel. I do not go anywhere by myself (except I get dropped off to visit my Precious Baby) or to Kentuckians Voice For Crime Victims meetings, when I am up to it. If I go the grocery store and get separated I can start to panic, from anxiety. I do not like to leave the safety of our home, my safe haven (except to visit my baby). I no longer drive, as I am on medication and would not put anyone’s safety at risk. When I go with a family member to buy flowers to make arrangements for My Precious Jessica (you see I make all my baby girl’s arrangements), it is an unbearable pain to pass baby items or wedding items in the store causing near anxiety attacks or crying spells. Sometimes when I see precious babies I will cry. I always have looked so forward to holding, cherishing and loving My Precious Jessica Noel’s babies. We would even talk – me asking her to please let me keep her babies with me overnight. We talked about the future and looked so forward to so many beautiful memories to be shared together. Now I prefer to live in the past with My Precious Jessica Noel, as living in the future without my Precious Jessica Noel is too painful. It is truly a sad and lonely path a mother in grief walks.
Our home was once a gathering place for many summer cookouts, an Annual Christmas Party. Those happy times and days are gone. We have many friends and family now who do not visit. I guess it is just too sad to be in our home. (And I think many people just can not be around me or my grief.)
Gary, our Precious Jessica Noel’s father suffers everyday, although he tries to hide them, each day his day begins with tears for our beautiful precious Jessica Noel. Gary has missed many days of work resulting in lost wages. Gary becomes fatigued so easily, and has little drive or motivation. It is heart wrenching to see the emptiness and sadness in Jessica’s daddy’s eyes. The trial scheduled for February 4, 2008, was once again delayed. At this point trying to work with all the heartbreaking emotions and stress Gary experiences each and every day he had to take an unpaid leave from work. (So not only are the heartbreaking emotions we live with each day - the financial impact for our family is overwhelming.)
Our Precious Jessica Noel’s oldest sister Lisa misses her baby sister very much. Being the oldest, Lisa has always been extremely protective of her brother and sisters. Lisa has so many blue days and is on the emotional rollercoaster from missing our Precious Jessica Noel. Lisa has lost time from work and was subsequently laid off. Lisa carries anguish and pain each and everyday, which is apparent to all who know her. Lisa’s ability to function has decreased from the Depression she suffers from making it hard to concentrate on employment.
Gary Jr., Jessica’s older brother tries so hard to be strong for us. Gary Jr. was in the process of expanding his horizons and moving out on his own. Yet, Gary chose to come home and be with his family where we all need each other. Like Lisa, he keeps watch over his dad, sisters, and me. At the time Gary Jr., was a full time student and also worked at UPS. Gary has lost wages from missing work. Prior to October 21, 2006, Gary Jr. carried a 3.8 GPA. Gary’s GPA has suffered as a result of days missed from class. With Gary’s vigorous schedule you expect him to be fatigued, but he has been so much more fatigued, since October 21, 2006. Our Precious Jessica Noel was murdered on his 24th birthday on October 21, 2006. Gary’s birthday (while an overwhelming joy on October 21, 1982,) will forever be a day of heartache for us all.
Our youngest daughter, Jenifer is having an extremely hard time. You see, although there are three and a half years age difference, as I mentioned before, Jenifer and our Precious Jessica Noel are more like twins. They share a special bond; Jenifer looks up to and admires our Precious Jessica Noel. Jenifer, a junior was unable to go back to school and completed High School through E-School. So many wonderful experiences she has missed and has no desire to experience in High School (Sports, Prom, Ring Ceremony, etc. these are also missed memories for us – High School should be a time for friends, good times, learning and fun). Jenifer has also developed depression and has also developed severe stomach ailments.
With the love my Precious Jessica Noel had for children and babies our family would have been blessed with many children from our Precious Jessica Noel. Our grandbabies that we will never know, hold, cherish and that will never know the love from our Precious Jessica who would be the most loving, caring and responsible mama, brings tears to my eyes when I think of memories that will never be. We will never get the opportunity to celebrate all of Precious Jessica Noel’s Scholastic accomplishments, we will never get to plan our Precious Jessica Noel’s wedding, Gary will never walk our baby girl down the aisle to be married (instead he had to follow our Precious baby down the church aisle). This is something no father or mother should have to endure.
To truly know our Precious Jessica Noel, please visit: any of the following sites:
http://jessica-mccawley.memory-of.com/
http://www.legacy.com/louisville/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=19656802
http://www.photoshow.net/mmccawley
These memory sites, particularly the Legacy site, which is from the Courier Journal, is our Precious Jessica Noel, not the young lady with her reputation being torn to shreds, by the Defense and Prosecution.
I keep waiting for God to wake me from this unending horrific nightmare, yet each day I am still missing my baby girl and God has not woke me up. Attending each and every motion, pre-trial, trial has been a tremendous blow to me because it says that I am not in a nightmare and this is all real. And I ask why these two murderers chose to take the life of my baby girl???
Each member our Precious Jessica Noel’s family has suffered endured and continues to endure too many emotional, physical, and financial hardships, as well as lost time from work, school, and lowered GPA scores. We continue to experienced many financial hardships; due to the loss of work days, unending Doctor Appointments, and prescriptions.
Around 4:00 A.M. we received a call from an hysterical Lindsey Miller screaming into the telephone our Baby Girl had been killed. I screamed back not to be calling people saying horrible things. While on the phone with Lindsey, Liz Miller, Lindsey’s mother calls me saying “I’m so sorry”. I am getting hysterical saying you do not call people and say such things. Liz Miller told me where to go – I screamed for Gary to get up and we raced to the murder site. Gary Jr., our son was there already because a call had been made to another of Our Precious Jessica’s friends Amanda Edwards, and my son was with Amanda and Mike Manion, her boyfriend. This night created a nightmare for us that will not end. A night I (we) relive causing agonizing excruciating pain. To see my Precious Baby in an ambulance and advised by Ms. Farmer, (Coroner) not to enter. But you see I have to hold my baby girl and beg her to wake up, to beg God to wake her up. To ask God to take me and leave my beautiful daughter here with her family where she belongs (all unanswered prayers). To see the head wounds and my Precious Jessica Noel’s blood loss inflicted by these murderers. Also so painful is not knowing the fear and pain our baby girl endured. Was she conscience? Did she see that Roberts pulled in front of an oncoming vehicle driven by Colbert, who did not even brake to lessen the crash impact?
As for Lamont Roberts, despite his lies on stand he is a Predator, who preyed upon Our Precious Jessica Noel’s vulnerabilities. Our Precious Jessica was going through rough times with a man she thought she would marry (realizing this would not be, her heart was broken). In September my baby girl told me she broke up with this man because she thought he was into drugs. This man who our baby girl gave her whole heart to introduced Our Precious Jessica to Roberts. Roberts, saw how hurt, naïve and vulnerable our Precious Jessica was and moved right in saying all the things a predator would say to a naïve young lady who only saw the good in people. We know that Roberts purposely got our Precious Jessica so intoxicated that she would not have any defense or control. At 5’1” and 105 lbs. he put her in his car without properly restraining our Precious Jessica with a Safety (as I know she was incapacitated by the alcohol given to her by Roberts to put her own safety belt on). WHY, why could he not assure that our baby girl was properly restrained with a safety belt? That is the least he could have done – but his mind was elsewhere. Roberts had nothing but evil intentions towards Our Baby Girl.
With all do respect, Judge McDonald our family has so many, too many unanswered questions regarding the murder of our Precious Jessica Noel. These unanswered questions will always cause us additional and agonizing pain. Many lies have been told to us and also told on the witness stand.
While recognizing and deeply appreciating all of the hard work, and dedication by Sgt. Laun, we still have questions with no answers. Sgt Laun stated to me early on that Roberts stated a third person was in his vehicle; one of My Precious Jessica’s friends, who left the scene?? Then we are told there was no third person in the vehicle??? We believe James Earl Roberts (Lamont’s Brother (who on a previous attempt tried to run our Precious Jessica Noel over in a parking lot for refusing and ignoring his unwanted sexual advances), was the third passenger. James Earl was present at the Crash site – stating to Sgt. Laun that he just came upon the crash site (I don’t think so – Way too much coincidence for us to believe). He then tells Jessica Edwards he received a call from a friend of Lamont’s and that is why he was there??? Please bear with me as I describe what we know to be true. On October 18, 2006, My Precious Jessica had told Ashley Miller, a close friend she was not seeing Lamont again. We believe she shared this with him October 21, 2006; therefore, he proceeded to intoxicate our Precious Jessica to a state where she had no control. We are quite certain, our Precious Jessica had to be assisted or carried and placed in a car not even being restrained by a Safety Belt. James Earl Roberts was either the third passenger in Lamont Roberts’s car and fled the scene, failing to render aid or call 911, or was in a vehicle following his brother, where they would carry out their evil, depaved plans to hurt Our Precious Jessica so very severely, cruelly and brutally. This nightmare is so much more than we can handle and the thoughts so distressing. I can not and will not believe either lie from James Earl – No Way – there is not that much coincidence that he just happened upon the murder site. You see, James Earl started the chain of telephone calls to My Precious Jessica Noel’s friends. My mother, came to me in November 2006, so distraught stating that “God sent his Angels for Our Precious Jessica Noel because of the horrible acts these monsters were going to commit against our Jessica. Acts so violent that God could not see her endure or suffer with”.
All of our pain and suffering from missing our Beautiful Precious Jessica is still so fresh. Then to be put through the nightmarish trial where we looked, prayed for and expected Justice is now just another nightmare we have to endure. I believed in Justice, and how so very naïve and wrong I was. I read the statutes; this was a case of clear cut Murder according to the laws as they are written. Yet, when there are people who believe it is okay to drink, drive and murder is okay because of a prehistoric mindset that drinking and driving is okay - just don’t get caught.
The lies we had to listen to from James Rhodes, from Longheads?? They do not properly check identification for age. To lie and state they check Identification to the tenth of the law is an insidious outright LIE. It is a common practice for Longhead’s to allow minors access and access to alcohol. Lamont Roberts is a personal friend of the then owner, who allowed Lamont to bring anyone into Longheads. Lamont Roberts took my baby girl into the Back door where a woman allowed her access without checking for proper identification. In December Ashley Miller ran into the owner of Longheads at the mall and he stated to her that Lamont really cared for her cousin. This shows the relationship between the owner of Longheads and Roberts. And if Roberts cared for our Baby Girl he could have at least followed one simple law and placed the seatbelt on our baby girl.
Why Why Why is not Lisa Scott charged she willingly gave her keys to an intoxicated driver with NO valid so he could murder our Precious Baby Girl? Also, to lie on the witness stand that she did not meet with Sgt. Laun until December?? In November Sgt. Laun visited us and stated that Lisa Scott made the statement she was afraid she was going to lose her car insurance. How callous how cold; her boyfriend murdered our baby girl and she has no remorse, just fear of losing car insurance. How was she even capable of being on the stand, as she certainly appeared to be under the influence of who knows what. In regards to Walter Colbert driving to White Castles for a Case of burgers with a .25 blood alcohol content, and eating a White Castle burger. (To this day I become physically ill when passing any White Castle.) It’s bad enough to drive drunk but to further impair your driving abilities by eating. Had he not been eating maybe he would have his full drunken attention on the highway and maybe his reactions would have been different, possibly he would have put his brakes on to maybe lessen the full impact of the crash that murdered my baby girl. (We should not be enduring this unbearable excruciating pain everyday. To this day I ask why Colbert and Roberts did not kill each other in this drunken crash they chose to create, (our Precious Jessica Noel was intoxicated to a level that would surely have her in a state of unconsciousness, (which is what Roberts entire intentions were). How then we ask can Our Precious Jessica Noel be held accountable for “Personal Responsibility”. How can anyone be as ignorant and cruel as to place the blame of Murder on an innocent victim? Our Precious Jessica did try to get a ride home; she was looking for a sober driver. Our Precious Jessica Noel should be alive, happy living a fulfilling life, continuing educational opportunities, bringing smiles to all who know her, planning a happy future, teaching, getting married, having babies. All we have now are broken dreams.
Also, for anyone to be as offensive and crude to suggest that Insurance money compensates our family for the loss of Our Precious Jessica Noel is insulting, cruel, malicious, spiteful and down right hateful. There is no amount of money to compensate our family, we would willingly and gladly forfeit any and all material possessions we own to have Our Precious Jessica who is so dearly missed home safe with us where she belongs. As for Insurance money – there are many expenses to be covered and insurance money can not and will not cover them all; lost wages, lost job, Funeral expense, a resting place, a beautiful monument, the unending doctor appointments, prescriptions, a monument in our yard in Our Precious Jessica Noel’s Garden. (Also, as far as Insurance money there are many many donations made in My Precious Jessica Noel’s Memory from Our Precious Jessica Noel’s insurance money.)
Why was our baby girl in that murderer’s car? Our Precious Jessica did call friends to get a ride, yet they turned their backs on her. They will never own up to the fact they would not pick her up, they know who they are. But we know the truth, and maybe one day they will develop a conscience, and they will have to live with the fact that they turned their backs on our Precious Jessica Noel, who would never ever turn her back on a friend in need.
Roberts tried in vain to portray himself as a loving doting father to Lauren and Kimberly. This plea fell deaf on mine, my family, and many other’s ears. My 19 year old daughter may or may not have called him?? Yet, Our Precious Jessica did not twist his arm, how is it possible to twist someone’s arm through a phone connection, not possible. If Roberts was so intent on being this loving doting father figure that he lies and pretends to be, he would have never left his daughters Lauren and Kimberly.
Your Honor, we respectfully and fervently beseech you to impose the stiffest and maximum penalties allowed by the Justice system. By Roberts’ record (past and present) it is evident that he has no regard for the laws that we must all abide to live in a civilized safe society. Roberts’ actions have shown he believes himself to above the law and has no respect or value for human life. Lamont Roberts did not, and does not show remorse for the murder of our Precious Jessica Noel. Roberts adds no value to the community, only a menace as shown by his criminal actions. When he is released from prison, the community will once again be placed in harms way. He will once again look for naïve and vulnerable teens to prey upon, he will drink and drive again. This is something I dread to think about as no other family should have to suffer this unending nightmare from which we have no escape.
Your Honor, I do have another request, and this is truly not my character before October 21, 2006, yet, I please have to ask this. I do request the photographs of my baby girl’s last moments in Roberts vehicle, and the photographs from the Medical Examiner be posted in his cell. As he has not shown remorse, maybe, which I doubt, but maybe having to see my beautiful daughter in the condition he placed her, just maybe he will become remorseful and take full responsibility for his murderous actions.
I would also ask that once he is released that he should never be permitted to have a drivers license.
Roberts can see Lauren and Kimberly through visits?? He has his wonderful daughters Lauren and Kimberly and he will have the opportunity spend time with them. He will have future holidays, celebrations, and the joy of watching them grow into beautiful young ladies with bright futures.
Our Precious Jessica Noel’s bright future has been torn, ripped and stolen away from her, away from us. We do not have the pleasure of sharing holidays, celebrations, accomplishments, achievements with our loving Beautiful Jessica. We now sorrowfully spend our Holidays and moments with our Precious Jessica Noel at her resting place.
Again, Judge McDonald, thank you for the opportunity to be the voice for our Precious Jessica Noel McCawley, taken too young by the murderous actions of Lamont Roberts and Walter Colbert.

My Mom, Precious Jessica's Memaw brought this poem to me and I can hear my Precious Jessica speaking these words to us.

When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart. 

The Wonders Of Grandparents

Grandparents are like stars
That shine so bright
He can bring gleam to our faces
Whether day or night

Grandparents are like flowers
Our love for each other keeps growing
They always bring us smiles
Without them even knowing

Grandparents are like the sun
They bring beautiful days
Their hugs keep us warm
And our love for them will never fade

Grandparents are like the moon
They guide to lead us home
Helping keep us sage at night
And giving us our special light
 

Our Gifts 

Each of us has special gifts
That come into our lives
They help us out and give us lifts
And give us strength and pride.

When there is pain
They're right by your side
Trying to make your days more bright
Making sure that you and everything is alright.

These gifts we should be thankful for
Also known as our parents
They make us special in every way.
And Love us more than words could ever say.

My greatest gift from you was…
Bringing me into this world
And letting me be called
Your little baby girl 

BY: Jessica McCawley
March 23, 2000

On the Road Again
By: Jessica McCawley  

After doing two lessons of driving lessons, it was finally time to take my drivers test. It was scheduled as my third driving lesson on July 29, 2003 at 8:00 a.m. I was so nervous especially since it was so early in the morning. However, I realized that if you believe in yourself you can accomplish anything you want.
The feeling that I had my chance to get it made me so happy, but I was also stuck with the sense of fear that I may fail.
As 7:00a.m. arrived, I headed out to meet my challenge. Butterflies were rolling around in my stomach, but I literally forced myself to stay calm, or else I would really mess up. When I arrived to the driving course, I waited for about fifteen minutes until they finally called my name. “Jessica McCawley” I heard the lady say, “you’re up!” I couldn’t believe it, it was finally my turn. All I could do was tell myself in my head, “Jessica, just stay calm and remember everything you were taught.” The thing I worried about most was performing the task of parallel parking, but as I approached the area to do it, I whipped right in and right out. After that, I knew I had it covered!
The lady who was evaluating me made me quite paranoid at times. She was constantly marking or writing on her sheet, and I had not a clue what it was she was saying. Though I brushed it off and kept my head up and continued on my way.
As the two of us made our way back to the front of the course, my observer informed me that I had passed my test with an 86%. A sigh of relief had then taken over me. All that time I spent worrying over nothing! Sometimes I think that if I would have not been so nervous, I would have performed even better.
This test taught me a lot about life. I learned that you cannot worry about the bad things that can happen. You have to always be positive about it and the things you do in life. The results will come out a lot better than you expect.  
         


             

 On the verge of twenty,
A bright smiling girl.
Soon to be a women,
Growing up in this cruel world
Out having fun,
As any young girl would.
She was the life of a party,
Made you smile when no one could.
Futhering her education,
Trying to do the right thing.
But in the blink of an eye,
She heard the angels sing.
We will never understand,
Why such a tragedy must be,
Just know that God has a plan for her,
That only he can see.
It is unexplainable,
Why she had to go,
But she is in a better place now,
That we all know.
                                                                 

A part of the family,
Yet a bestfriend,too.
A wonderful girl everyone knew.

So full of life,pretty, and smart,
She will always have a special place in my heart


We had our times of thick,
And our times of thin,
But she was always there for me till the very end.

We will all miss her smiling face,
This is a loss that no one can replace.

Now that she is gone we are all full of sorrow,
It is so weird how sometimes,
You dont get to live for tommorrow

We Love You JESSICA NOEL 

                        

Our Precious Jessica was attending Jefferson Community College and also worked at Mr. Lou's for three years and although this was a job, it was more like a second home to our precious Jessica. Our Precious Jessica would many days come home and share warm memories of her days at Mr. Lou’s, where she truly felt a part of an amazing family of love. Mr. Lou’s was like a second home to Our Precious Jessica. Many of the patrons at Mr. Lou’s have shared many sincere words with our family through Our Precious Jessica’s Courier Journal Guestbook, http://www.legacy.com/louisville/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=19656802&PageNo=5. 
These are some of the sentiments shared by the patrons of Mr. Lou’s, Our Precious Jessica’s home away from home. 
“…She always made us feel welcome and important. She was the most gracious and kind young woman, traits that are very hard to come by these days...” 
“- such a friendly young lady and always smiling. She will be sadly missed by all her customers/friends from "The Cottage".”
“Just wanted to say we are sorry to hear about Jessica, We know her from Mr. Lou's she was a great person.”
“Jessica always had a smile on her face as she served our hot fudge cakes at Mr. Lou's. She made everybody feel welcome, part of the family. We will miss her deeply.”
“Jessica was a very outgoing beautiful young women! She touched the hearts of every person that knew her. She will be greatly missed, but never forgotten."
“such a bright person I met Jessica at Mr. Lou’s she was a sweet heart she was so full of life now she is an angel in heaven smiling down on us every time the sun shines on your face think of Jessica R.I.P Jessica we will miss you…”
“Jessica was very precious to us. Her smile & her sweetness is what I will always remember the most. Going to Mr. Lou's will never be the same. Aubrey, Kelsie, & Little Les will miss you Jessica. You were one of their favorites. Jessica will be remembered with our love.”
“Jessica served my family several times at Mr. Lou's. She was always so sweet and quick with a smile and a laugh….”.  

While our family was having breakfast at Mr. Lou's with our Precious Jessica, a beautiful lady told me she thought of Our Precious Jessica like her own granddaughter, and how sweet Our Precious Jessica is.